A few days ago I wrote the above post full of self, of my own attitudes and baggage. I fluctuate from thinking that what I write helps, that it provides some information, that it leads some to the light of truth. Other times, I think if I am writing I am not doing and doing is what needs to be done. I think that by shutting down the blog and "doing" I can protect those who might be considered co-conspirators. I have struggled with this a lot.
I am not afraid of the justice system. To be honest, the last thing they want to do is put me in prison with a bunch of other victims of this diseased system. I know the mentality. I have spent a lot of time with ex-cons. While I am not rushing to be imprisoned, I do not fear it. The greatest fear I have is what it does to people I care about, people like my family, like the III.
My life has been in a state of flux most of the time. There were a few moments when things were stable, but it has been only a respite from the turmoil that surrounds being in the oil industry where everything can change in the blink of an eye. People do not stay at one job very long. The company might stay the same, but the rig changes, or the crew changes, etc. Nothing is safe, no schedule is sacred. Every plan I have ever made has been hijacked by the uncertainty of working in the oil field.
And, so it is again. I have an opportunity that I will likely accept that will once again hijack whatever plans I had made, whatever obligations I assumed in good faith. That does not mean that I must stop the blog. It really doesn't affect very much, except that whatever time I had set aside to do anything, or go anywhere will be adjusted to the new schedule. I will have more time off, but more time on as well.
Enough of me, though. The fact is, I realize now, from responses to the latest post, that becoming discouraged with the movement, watching organized events fail time after time to produce anything substantial, is some of my own baggage. It is unworthy of the efforts a lot of other people are making for me to just bag it.
From what I have read many feel the same way: they just want to chuck it all and go after the crooks, but they have remained to provide guidance. They have been convinced to stay in the fight. I guess I have to find a way to do both.
I am waiting now to hear news of my new schedule. I will try to keep up with the posts as much as I am able, but I refuse to write a post just to write something. I will take it as it goes. Thank you for your guidance, I had made up my mind, but I always listen to reason.